Lord John and the Private Matter, Diana Gabaldon

Diana Gabaldon is well-known for writing the Outlander series, a historical/fantasy/romance series about a Scottish nobleman and his time-traveling wife Claire.  Extensively researched, very detailed, the Outlander books are a fun, engaging romp through 18th century Scottish history.  Or at least, the first two are-those are the ones I've read.  At any rate, what the Outlander books are NOT are traditional mysteries.  But it turns out that Gabaldon has a knack for those as well, as she aptly demonstrates in the Lord John Grey series.

The first book in the series is Lord John and the Private Matter.  The main character is Lord John Grey, an important but not always present character in the Outlander books.  Goodreads has this summary of the plot:

The year is 1757. On a clear morning in mid-June, Lord John Grey emerges from London’s Beefsteak Club, his mind in turmoil. A nobleman and a high-ranking officer in His Majesty’s Army, Grey has just witnessed something shocking. But his efforts to avoid a scandal that might destroy his family are interrupted by something still more urgent: the Crown appoints him to investigate the brutal murder of a comrade in arms, who may have been a traitor.
Obliged to pursue two inquiries at once, Major Grey finds himself ensnared in a web of treachery and betrayal that touches every stratum of English society — and threatens all he holds dear. From the bawdy houses of London’s night-world to the stately drawing rooms of the nobility, and from the blood of a murdered corpse to the thundering seas ruled by the majestic fleet of the East India Company, Lord John pursues the elusive trails of a vanishing footman and a woman in green velvet, who may hold the key to everything — or nothing.

And lest you think that I am just feeling too lazy with my summer brain to actually write my own summary, I will tell you that I've spent the last 20 minutes composing and erasing prospective summaries-the plot is intricate and detailed, with many moving parts.  Gabaldon's Lord John reminds me of the William Monk books by Anne Perry, who also writes very well-researched historical mysteries.    But there is one major difference-Lord John Grey is gay.  Since the 18th century was not known for its acceptance of homosexuals, this adds tension to the whole story.  Gabaldon gives us a fascinating look at the gay culture of London in the mid-1700s, and weaves it seamlessly into the story so that it feels authentic rather than contrived.  Because Lord John is also a character from the Outlander series there are a few mentions of Jamie Fraser and Claire, but for the most part this is a stand-alone series that does not require that you read the very loooonnnnngggg Outlander books to enjoy.  In fact, if you enjoy Gabaldon's writing but think the Outlander books are too long, then this series is for you!

Haven't I Heard This Somewhere Before?

In Running With Scissors, Augusten Burroughs gave us a hilarious and horrifying look into his early life.  When his parents divorced, Augusten's mother signed over guardianship of him to her psychotic psychiatrist.   Refusing to go to school, he spent his days drinking or getting high with this foster sister, and being preyed upon by a 33 year old pedophile.  It was a story like no other-hopefully because no one else has ever lived through that particular brand of hell.

Dry picks up the story of his life as an award winning copywriter at an ad agency and raging alcoholic. After a particularly disastrous business meeting, his company gives him an ultimatum-go to rehab or lose his job.  He enters rehab determined to treat it as a spa vacation, only to be confronted pretty quickly with the strange world of group therapy and the 12 steps.  He leaves rehab determined to stay sober, but the pressures of real life threaten his fragile sobriety.  And this, this is a story I've heard before.


Granted, Dry is told with Burrough's usual wit.  I admire his ability to laugh at himself, and unlike some recovery memoirs this one is not preachy or sentimental.  But it also doesn't really have anything new to say on the subject of addiction.  He was a drunk, for understandable reasons, but still a drunk.  He nearly ruined his own (and a few other people's) life.  He met some unusual characters in rehab, had difficulty re-entering the "real" (read: sober) world, etc...etc...If you are a fan of Augusten Burroughs, it is probably worth reading just so you can say you've read the "complete set", so to speak, but if you've never read his books before, start with Running with Scissors-much more compelling story.

Cross-Blog Pollination

While taking a childrens' and young adult literature class this summer, I decided to move most of my reviews of young adult books to a new blog, Second Childhood Reviews.  Unlike many bloggers who focus on young adult books, mine is dirently aimed at teachers and parents who want to read high-quality literature with their students/children.  That said, occasionally there will be a book that I think deserves a wider audience than my second blog, a book that has merit not just as a good read for young adults but as a good read for anyone.  The Hunger Games trilogy is probably the best example of this.

In this case, it is not so much that I think that the book I am going to mention is such a great adult read (though I enjoyed it very much-it's laugh-out-loud funny in multiple spots), but that the message of the book is one that adults need to hear.  The book is The Misfits, by James Howe.  Howe wrote the very popular Bunnicula series-he also came out as a gay man in the early part of the new century.  In The Misfits, and it's companion book Totally Joe, Howe highlights the problem of name-calling and bullying in middle school.  While the theme itself may not be groundbreaking, his inclusion of an openly gay character is, especially in a book aimed at children aged 10 to 13.  After researching queer themes in children's and young adult literature for a project for the above-mentioned children's/young adult lit class, I can tell you that while there are several good picture books for young children about families with same-sex parents, and there are more and more young adult novels for high schoolers on issues of sexual orientation, coming out, and first love with gay characters, there is almost nothing for students in the middle grades.  So here I am, on my "grown-up" blog, strongly urging anyone who has, knows, works with, or cares about kids in the middle grades to read and share this book!  And here is the link to my review of The Misfits, along with a list of online resources for teaching about the book.

Candy Everybody Wants, by Josh Kilmer Purcell

If there is a lesson in Candy Everybody Wants, it is to be careful what you wish for. 

The story centers in Jayson (the Y is very important, it shows flair), a gay teenager living in Wisconsin in the early 80s.  His mom is a "free spirit" artist, his brother has a developmental disability, his best friends are twins that live next door with their religious fundamentalist parents.  Jayson has one overarching goal-to be famous, just like his celebrity crush, Devin Williamson.  The summer before high school finds him directing his friends and starring in his own Dallas/Dynasty spin-off.  When his performance (in drag) is accidentally shown to the whole town, his mother sends him to live with father-an actor she hooked up with once after a performance, but who Jayson finds is clearly as queer as a three dollar bill.  He also runs a male escort service, but he takes in Jayson with equanimity.  Also staying with dear old dad-Jayson's favorite child actor, Devin Williamson.  Between Devin and his father, Jayson now has enough juice to get him noticed in Hollywood-but will it turn out to be everything he hoped?

Sadly, Candy Everybody Wants did not turn out to be everything I hoped.  After reading I Am Not Myself These Days, Purcell's memoir of his days in drag, I was expecting a slightly snarky, witty, and insightful novel about the dangers of seeking fame.   I think that what made his memoir successful was the raw honesty with which it was written, and the fact that you knew it was about a real person.  In Candy Everybody Wants, the authenticity was missing to a certain extent.  Plus, he really threw in every late 70s/early 80s character stereotype there was.  Flamboyant gay teen, drug-using promiscuous bisexual mother, former teen-idol on the skids, closeted gay theater actor, homophobic meathead football player, militant lesbian...few of the characters, including Jayson, felt completely developed. 

The story itself was entertaining, and I could see it making a great, quirky comedy movie.  But as a follow-up to his first book, this one left me a little flat.

Map of Ireland, Stephanie Grant

I think that white northerners, people in America living north of the Mason-Dixon line, like to convince ourselves that historically there was no real racism here, at least not like in the south.  Sure, there were a few hot spots like Detroit where race riots happened, but some of our best friends were black.  We supported abolition.  We didn't have Jim Crow laws (at least, not the kind written down).  We're the racial good guys.

The fact is, racism, while less overt, was and is just as insidious in the northern part of the US as it was in the south.  While it's true that more northerners than southerners expressed a positive opinion of desegregation and equal rights, when I came right down to it the same fear and prejudice reared it's ugly head during the 1960s and 1970s in places like Chicago and Boston.  Especially at issue was school desegregation, which resulted in the forced busing of both white and black students out of their neighborhoods and into other areas of the city to achieve racial integration.

It is Boston's struggle over school desegregation that is the focus of Stephanie Grant's novel, Map of Ireland.  The main character, Ann Ahern, is a troubled Irish girl from Southie, the neighborhood in South Boston where the Irish settled during the 1800s and early 1900s.  It is now the 1970s-the 60s are over, leaving behind some aging hippies and a country struggling to catch up with the furious pace of cultural change that it just experienced.  The year that the busing started in Boston's public schools is the same year that Mademoiselle Eugenie, a Senegalese exchange teacher, comes to teach French at Ann's school.  Ann quickly develops a crush on Mademoiselle Eugenie, but it's not her gender that concerns Ann-it's the color of her skin.  While Ann has known for a while that she is attracted only to women, her desire for Mademoiselle Eugenie brings her into contact with more Blacks than she has ever known, and forces her to confront her own prejudice, as well as the oppression and violence that poor Blacks in Boston experienced at the hands of their white neighbors during that difficult year.

Grant does with this novel what I hope other authors will do as time goes on-she has a gay main character, but the book is not about gay issues, at least not mostly.  There are many societal issues raised in the book-sexuality, class, ethnic heritage, race-but the racial issue takes centers stage, and is the driving force behind the other parts of the story.  While no one is defined by a single part of their identity, often books with gay protagonists are specifically about being gay-struggling for self-acceptance, coming out, finding love, fighting for equality.  In this novel Ann has already mostly come to terms with her sexuality, but her feelings for Mademoiselle Eugenie throw her into crisis.  While Grant never uses this term, much of what Ann struggles with is feeling like a race traitor, feeling as though she is trapped by her own ethnicity and geography, unable to see any way forward that does not mean cutting herself off from the only community she has ever known.

The other thing that Grant does quite well with this book is the authenticity of the characters.  Despite her obvious support of racial equity and understanding, her black characters are not sentimentalized.  They are portrayed neither as noble heroes or victims, but as complicated, flawed people.  While some of the whites in the book are obvious villains, for the most part they are written as people struggling to maintain control over their own lives in the face of fear of the unknown.  While it is clear where Grant's sympathies lie, the story does not ever devolve into preachiness or stereotypes, and while you might not agree with the position of any one character, you begin to see how nuanced the situation really was.  Black and white issues rarely exists in the real world, and they don't exist in this book either.  Like most of us, this book resides squarely in a shade of gray.

The Passion of Alice, by Stephanie Grant

In her 1995 novel of self-acceptance, The Passion of Alice, Stephanie Grant paints a picture of a young woman stuck-not able to move forward with her life, and slowly fading away to nothingness.  Alice is a 25 year old librarian who is hospitalized at the eating disorders clinic at the well-known Seaview Hospital after a heart attack caused by her extreme thinness.  At 89 pounds and 5'10" tall, Alice feels that she is starving herself down to her very essence, shedding everything not about her that is not essential.  While at the hospital, she begins to gain weight while getting to know Gwen, a frail timid anorexic; Louise, a grossly overweight woman who is a compulsive eater; and finally Maeve, a risk-taking bulimic who forces Alice to confront her sexuality.  When Maeve escapes the hospital, Alice has her second brush with death, and when she gets a visit from an old friend, she finally realizes that in order for her to move forward with her life, she must accept all parts of herself.  She cannot starve away her feelings.

If this sounds a little bit like the gay version of Girl, Interrupted, you're not wrong.  It felt a bit like the gay version of Girl, Interrupted.  However, many of the things that made the book Girl, Interrupted powerful are also present in this story.  Grant focuses not so much on the disease of anorexia as the reasons for Alice's starvation.  When Alice goes to chapel on week, she shares with the nurse that escorts her that "passion" also means "suffering", and that becomes the major underlying theme of the book.  Anything that causes Alice to feel passionate also causes her suffering.  Trying to live up to her mother's expectations, her feelings about women and sex, her desire for food that she knows she won't eat.  Her anorexia becomes a way to control her passions, essentially trying to starve the feelings away until she is left with nothing but her most essential essence.  What she discovers is that her feelings, especially her feelings about women and sex, are an essential part of her. 

Loss of innocence and maturation is also a recurring theme throughout the book.  For Alice, that means coming out of a state of willful ignorance about herself-basically, she figures out it's time to put her big girl pants on and get on with things!  To some extent it feels as though most of the women on the unit are having a similarly hard time integrating into adulthood-even the ones who have been chronological adults for quite some time.  Their reactions to each other, their petty fights, their childish behavior when in public all lead to this sense of them being childlike.  The implication seems to be that perhaps the first step in being healthy was to grow up.  This can mean confronting some harsh realities-like when one of the doctors catches them off-grounds and offers to trade his silence for sex.

There is less accusation against the psychiatric community in this novel than in similar books, but as the example above shows not everyone in the hospital is portrayed in a positive light.  What the setting of the hospital did for me was provide a symbol of the way in which society tries to define what is healthy and normal, and how anyone outside of that definition is considered broken and in need of fixing.  It is my sincere hope that we are finally getting to a point in our country where gays and lesbians are no longer seen as broken, but are fully accepted for who we are.

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

Welcome to another edition of It's Monday, What Are You Reading, hosted by Sheila at One Person's Journey.

For me, it's more like a "Where have you been for the last two weeks post?", since I somehow missed the boat last week.    School starts today, and while my blog may have been slightly neglected, my classroom looks wonderful :)

So, since my last Monday post, here's how things stack up:

Books read:

A Dark Matter, by Peter Straub

Clay's Ark, by Octavia E. Butler

Farm Fresh Murder, by Paige Shelton

Deception, by John Kellerman (review coming soon!)

Reading has definitely slowed down in my world-darn that having to work thing, anyway!  So, what's up next?

Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins

I was informed that my copy is on it's way from Amazon!  I read the first two in late winter, and cursed my friends who recommended Hunger Games for not waiting a few months so I could just read all three at once!

Wild Ginger, by Anchee Min

The Red Guards have branded Wild Ginger's deceased father a traitor and eventually drive her mother to a gruesome suicide, but she fervently embraces Maoism to save her spirit. She rises quickly through the ranks and is held up as a national model for Maoism. Wild Ginger now has everything, even a young man who vies for her heart. But Mao's prohibition on romantic love places her in an untenable position. Into this sexually charged situation steps Maple, creating an uneasy triangle that Min has portrayed with keen psychological insight and her characteristic gift for lyrical eroticism.(from Goodreads)

The Passion of Alice, by Stephanie Grant

It's 1984. Alice Forrester is a twenty-five-year-old anorexic who has just experienced heart failure when she is taken to the emergency room of Seaview Hospital, renowned for its eating disorders clinic. There, family and friends in league with staff and doctors intently try to steer her toward recovery. But it's not that simple. She passes time at the clinic waiting to find out what is wrong with her. What happened. When and how the damage was done. (from Goodreads)

Whisper to the Blood, Dana Stabenow

Inside Alaska’s biggest national park, around the town of Niniltna, a gold mining company has started buying up land. The residents of the Park are uneasy. “But gold is up to nine hundred dollars an ounce” is the refrain of Talia Macleod, the popular Alaskan skiing champ the company has hired to improve their relations with Alaskans and pave the way for the mine’s expansion. And she promises much-needed jobs to the locals.

But before she can make her way to every village in the area to present her case at town meetings and village breakfasts, there are two brutal murders, including that of a long-standing mine opponent. The investigation into those deaths falls to Trooper Jim Chopin and, as usual, he needs Kate to help him get to the heart of the matter.

Between those deaths and a series of attacks on snowmobilers up the Kanuyaq River, not to mention the still-open homicide of Park villain Louis Deem last year, part-time P.I. and newly elected chairman of the Niniltna Native Association Kate Shugak has her hands very much full. (from Goodreads)

Patternmaster, by Octavia E. Butler

The combined mind--force of a telepathic race, patternist thoughts can destroy, heal, rule. For the strongest mind commands the entire pattern and all ...more  
The combined mind--force of a telepathic race, patternist thoughts can destroy, heal, rule. For the strongest mind commands the entire pattern and all within. Now the son of the Patternmaster craves this ultimate power, He has murdered or enslaved every threat to his ambition----except one. In the wild, mutant--infested hills, a young apprentice must be hunted down and destroyed because he is the tyrant's equal....and the Pattermaster's other son. (from Goodreads)

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

Happy Monday!  I am still deep into a children's literature class, so all of my titles this week are young adult titles.  But, my big book project is due to day, so I'm looking forward to catching up on some of the new books I've been getting that I've had to put aside.

The View from Saturday, by E.L. Konigsburg

Rainbow Boys, by Alex Sanchez

Almost Perfect, by Brian Katcher (Review coming soon!)

Hello Groin, by Beth Goobie (Review coming soon!)

This coming week I am hoping to get to:

Another Thing to Fall, by Laura Lippman

Wild Seed, Octavia E. Butler

I will also get to the following YA titles:

Bait, by Alex Sanchez

Ten Things I Hate About Me-Randa Abdel-Fattah

Have a great reading week, everyone!

Rainbow Boys, by Alex Sanchez

Title:  Rainbow Boys
Author: Alex Sanchez
Publisher:  Simon & Schuster
Pages:  233
Genre:  Realistic Fiction
Age Level:  9th Grade and Up





Plot Summary:
Rainbow Boys tells the story of Nelson, Kyle and Jason.  Nelson is the stereotypical gay male-a little swishy, with multiple piercings and multi-colored hair.  Kyle is a quiet, sweet boy, a swimmer on the high school swim team.  Jason is a popular jock, deeply in the closet.  When the novel begins, Nelson is completely out to everyone, including his very liberal mother who is the chairperson of the local chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).  Kyle is out to Nelson and the other teens in their GLBT support group, but not to his family.  He also is deeply infatuated with Jason, looking at his picture in the yearbook so often the page is fading.  Jason is dating Debra, and trying with all of his might to pretend that he is not having feelings for other boys.  When the other guys make gay jokes, or harass Nelson (whom they call Nelly), he laughs or turns away.  Finally he gets up the courage to go to a meeting of the support group, and is horrified to find Kyle and Nelson there.  When he runs, Kyle follows him.  The two boys strike up a friendship when Kyle agrees to help him with his math.  Slowly, as Jason spend more time with Kyle, he breaks up with his girlfriend and comes to terms with his true orientation.  Nelson, meanwhile, has decided that he is in love with Kyle, and tries to put the moves on him.  When that doesn't work, he descends into depression, binging and purging and having unprotected sex with an older man he met on the internet.  Afraid he may have contracted HIV, he sinks even lower, refusing to go to school.  Turns out that Nelson, who is so open about his sexual orientation, doesn't really know any more about how to go about this whole dating business than anyone else.  An act of gay bashing makes Jason realize that it is too dangerous not to stand up for himself and his friends, and leads to him finally coming out to his family.

Review:
If the above summary reminds you of a soap opera, you are not far wrong.  There are a lot of issues tackled in this book, from sexual orientation to gay bashing to bulimia to alcoholism.  Despite the somewhat soapish nature of the plot, the subjects are all handled in an honest way, without any sensationalism or gratuitous detail.  

Each of the boys comes from a very different family.  Nelson lives with his mother, and has almost no contact with his father.  Nelson's mother is the epitome of what gay-accepting parents should be.  She stands up for her son and his right to be who he is, and is actively involved in working for gay rights.  Kyle's parents are well-meaning, though his dad is constantly pushing him into sports.  That's the only reason Kyle joined the swim team, though he finds that swimming is something that helps him clear his head.  When he comes out to his parents, they are taken aback, and both of them struggle to understand how he became the way he is.  When push comes to shove, however, and they find out that he is being harassed at school, they stand up for him.  Jason's dad is an alcoholic-a violent one at that.  He found Jason and another boy experimenting when they were 10, and ever since he has called him pansy or faggot.  It is only after Jason brings Nelson and Kyle back to his house after they were jumped on the street, and his dad starts in on them, that he is able to stand up to him and tell him his deepest secret.  There's no storybook ending here-Dad does not suddenyl decide to go to AA and become a PFLAG member.  He leaves the family and disowns Jason.

It is this authenticity and honesty that makes the book so appealing.  Each of the boys could represent someone I know, or should I say that I know someone who went through what each of these boys did.  The characters are well-developed, and you feel sympathy for each of them.  The plot is well-paced, and the events feel real.  When Kyle's mom finds his gay porno mag, you wince right along with him.  When Nelson gets so depressed he can't get out of bed, you remember what being 17 was like yourself,  how intensely teens feel everything.  Sadly, the boys harassing Kyle and Nelson are also completely believable.  The book was written in 2001, but even with all of the advances in gay rights and awareness that have happened in our country since there are still too many boys like them in our schools.

Sanchez does an excellent job of balancing the personal stories of the boys and some heavily debated societal issues.  When the boys want to start a Gay Straight Alliance at their school, there is the expected opposition from religious groups.  The teachers ignoring the harassment the boys are getting, and in fact blaming them for it because they can't act more "normal", is something that is still true.  Parental acceptance of gay youth differs, though I like to think that more parents are supportive than there used to be.  Overall, this novel brings home the issues that gay teens face every day in a very accessible, personal way.

The God Box (imported from Second Childhood Reviews)

Title:  The God Box
Author:  Alex Sanchez
Publsiher:  Simon Pulse
Pages:  248
Genre:  Realistic Fiction
Age Level:  8th-12th Grade






Plot Summary:
Paul is a high school senior in a small Texas town.  He and his girlfriend Angie have been together since middle school, and they enjoy the same things-listening to their favorite Christian rock CDs, singing in the church choir, and being members of their school's Bible study club.  Paul tried not to worry about the fact that while he loves Angie, he does not feel the same attraction for her that most boys describe feeling for girls.  He prays on it most nights-prays that he will lose the "unnatural" feelings he has towards boys so he can be a good Christian.  Enter Manuel, new to school and the first openly gay teen Paul or his friends have ever known.  Manuel is also devoutly Christian, and Paul is thrown into turmoil.  Is it possible to be Christian and gay?  Slowly Manuel opens his eyes to new interpretations of the Bible passages that get trotted out to "prove" God's hatred of homosexuals, but it is not until one terrifying night that Paul decides that being true to himself as one of God's creations is the best way to honor his creator.

Review:
I loved this book, and I'm not even going to try to find some cute, book-reviewer way to say it.  I think that this book should be required reading in every Christian school/Sunday school/Bible study in the country.  If you looked up the definition of "Christian" in the dictionary, Paul's picture would be there.  He loved the Lord, and strove every day to live up to Jesus's standards.  He was kind, and compassionate, and actively engaged in his faith.  But he had been taught that his attraction for men negated all of the prayer and good deeds he's ever done.  Manuel slowly, one Biblical argument at a time, dismantles all of the dogma Paul had been taught.  Their Bible discussions are thoughtful and thought-provoking.  Manuel is not written as some raging queer radical-he's just an average kid, same as the rest, only comfortable enough with himself to live openly as gay.  Even in the face of taunts and danger (sounds a little bit like Christ himself, doesn't it?), he stays true to who he believes God wants him to be.  I really believe that this book put in the hands of the right child at the right time could literally save lives.

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

It has been all young adult, all the time in my house this week!  I am deep in the midst of reading books for a webquest assignment, a diversity in young adult literature presentation, a literature share, and book reviews. The books I've reviews on my new blog, Second Childhood Reviews, are listed below.  Come on over and check it out!  Here's how my week went:

Baby Be-Bop, by Francesca Lia Block

Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson

The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky

Luna, by Julie Anne Peters

The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman

The God Box, by Alex Sanchez (review coming soon!)

Right now I am starting a novel about a high school boy who falls for the new girl, only to find out she was born a bay, called Almost Perfect.  I also have some more Alex Sanchez books and some more Francesca Lia Block books to get to.  I'll be reading Kate DiCamillo's The Magician's Elephant, as well as The View of Saturday by E.L. Konigsburg, and Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan.  I may even get to an adult novel this week, of time permits.  I hope that everyone has a great reading week!

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

Happy Monday!  Last week was a good one for me for reading and blogging-got lots of things accomplished!

Books I finished last week-

Darling Jim, by Christian Moerk

Monster, by Walter Dean Myers

Rules, by Cynthia Lord

Dark Summer, by Iris Johansen

Interworld, by Neil Gaiman and Michael Reeves

 

Keeping Corner, by Kashmira Sheth

Up this week-

Little Be-Bop, by Francesca Lia Block

Rainbow Boys, by Alex Sanchez

The God Box, by Alex Sanchez

Speak, by Laurie Halse Andersen

Luna, by Julie Ann Peters

The Perks of Being A Wallflower, by Stephen Chobsky

Most of the above books will be reviewed on my new blog, Second Childhood Reviews, which I started as a special site for the children's and young adult books I read.  Besides the book reviews, I'll try to have parent and teacher resources about the books as well.  Come check it out!

Happy reading this week!

Confessions of the Other Mother

What makes a person a mother?  How do women who do not identify with traditional femininity fit into the role of mother?  What is it like watching your partner have a physical closeness with your child that you will neve have?  These are all questions posed (and sometimes answered) by the collection of essays Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All.

I was drawn to this book (despite my previously stated aversion to most non-fiction) because my partner, Amanda, could have contributed to the book.  While our 16 year old daughter came about the old-fashioned way from my first marriage, Amanda and I have been raising her together since she was about eight.  I wanted to get some insight into the kinds of experiences that other women had had with blended families.

Had I been paying more attention to the actual table of contents during my book buying frenzy at the conference where I bought this book, I would have noticed that there is only one essay in the book about step-mothering. But I'm glad that I didn't pay more attention, because I would have missed out on some fascinating stories.  From poignant to frustrating, political to deeply personal, the authors of these essays have shared an experience that not only helps me understand lesbian mothering, but actually gave me insight into straight fathering.  It never occurred to me that women who identify strongly as butch would have trouble not just being called mother, but with identifying with our society's definition of maternal.  Or that there would be jealousy from the non-birth spouse over the closeness of breastfeeding (this was the one that got me thinking about straight fathers).  Or that people were really so insensitive as to ask which mother is the "real" mother.

The one that spoke the most strongly to me was written by one of the women who brought about the lawsuit that led to the Massachusetts gay marriage decision, Hilary Goodrich.  Her partner had to have a C-section while delivering their daughter.  The baby was born in some distress, so she was rushed to the NICU, and Goodrich went with her.  After sitting next to her daughter's bed until the crisis passed, she went back to check on her partner-and was told that she could not "visit" because she was not "family".  She then tried to go back to the NICU, where she was stopped at the door because she was not the "mother".  Imagine not being able to go to the person you love or your child when they are sick or in pain, and the frustration and anger you'd feel.   

There has been a lot of debate in our country over the years about what makes a family.  I think that most of us have gotten our heads around the idea of single parents, blended families, and families with grandparents as the main child-rearers.  Based on the stories in Confessions, we still have some work to do on honoring and valuing the love and care that exists in families led by same-sex parents.

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

Hosted by One Person's Journey Through Books, this weekly meme gives us bloggers a chance to review our reading week and plan for the next one!

Last week I finished Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Speak Out, which is exactly what it sounds like it is-a collection of essays from lesbian moms who did not actually give birth to their children.  Review to come soon!  I also finished The Diamond of Darkhold, which I already reviewed here.
Rounding out the list for last week was Town in a Blueberry Jam, by B.B. Haywood.

This week I'm reading Little Bee by Chris Cleve.  So far I am loving the narrator of Little Bee, an African refugee from Nigeria who comes to England to find the family she met during one horrifying day "when the men came" to her village.  I love the first line:  "Most days I wish I was a British pound coin instead of an African girl."  I got back to class two nights a week instead of one this week, so until school gets out I'm back to one book at a time.  Hope everyone has a great reading week!

This Week's Top Ten

Jillian over at Random Ramblings has chosen Books That Made You Cry as the topic of this week's Top Ten.  Anyone who knows me that I cry if the wind blows the wrong way, so this list should be pretty easy for me to create.  I'm going to try and stay with books that are legitimate tear jerkers, because I occasionally cry at things that no one else finds touching (like when Darth Vadar died in Return of the Jedi-yep, I'm that bad, though I was only 13 or something when it came out)

1.  The Time Traveller's Wife-Audrey Niffenegger
I think that this is one of the most touching love stories I have ever read.  Even though I knew in my heart what was going to happen, I just kept hoping I was wrong.  I actually cried harder at the end, when Clare was old.  It just seemed so much sadder to me.

2.  The Kite Runner-Khaled Hosseini
There are so many tragic things that happened in this book.  I can't even imagine the shame that the main character must have felt, or the pain and confusion that Hassan felt first because of the brutal attack, and then because of the betrayal by his friend.

3.  Bridge to Terebithia-Katherine Patterson
This book was one of my favorite as a kid.  I've read it aloud to several of my classes, and I still cry every time I read the part where Leslie dies.  I think that reading this book was the first time I realized that children could die.

4.  The Notebook-Nicholas Sparks
This was the first Nicholas Sparks book that I read, and I expected all of them to be this touching.  Sadly, I haven't liked any of his other books.  They seem a little too sappy to me.  I was surprised, because this love story is so poignant, given the setting and structure of the novel.

5.  My Sister's Keeper-Jodi Picoult

This was the first book I read by Jodi Picoult, and it was the first book my teachers' book club read when we got started a few years ago.  I had no idea what I was letting myself in for.  This book made me angry and sad and frustrated, but mostly sad.

6.The Yearling-Marjorie Kinnan Rowlings
 Believe it or not, I read this book for the first time in college for a children's literature class.  I had heard of Ol' Yeller, of course, and had I known that this was a similar story I might have been prepared for what happened.  I was so angry at the boy's father-I say let that deer eat whatever he wants!

7.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-JK Rowling
Fred Weasly, that's all I'm sayin'

8.  Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe-Fannie Flagg
While the movie really downplays the love affair between Ruth and Idgie, the book makes it clear that Idgie is not just losing her best friend, but her lover-the love of her life.  Couple that with the sub-plot of Big George and Smokey Lonesome, and the mood is set for tearjerkiness.

9. The Joy Luck Club-Amy Tan
The matter of fact way that the tragedy of what happened in China to this family added to the horror that I felt.  Human beings should never be put in the position to have to make the kinds of decisions that this family had to make.

10.  The Secret Life of Bees-Sue Monk Kidd
Oh, Miss May...carrying the weight of the world, writing them and placing them in the chinks of the wall.  Just that image tears me up, never mind what happens later.

It's Monday, What Are You Reading?

This week was not nearly as productive as I would have liked, given that I was on spring break.  I blame it on switching from Direct TV to Comcast-we had to watch all of the backed up shows on our DVR before the big switch happened.

I finished Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel.  Check out my review here.  I also completed Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson.  The review for that one is here.

I just, and I mean just, started The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver.  I love her books, so I am really looking forward to this one.  After that I think I am going to make a stack of the shortest books in my TBR pile and read them-I am way behind on my goal to read 100 this year.  Though if the goal starts to feel like homework, I may as well call myself done-that's not what reading for pleasure is supposed to be, after all.  Ironically, I'd probably get more reading done if I wasn't blogging!  My fellow bloggers are such interesting people with such good reviews I get sucked in every time!

Have a great reading week!

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, Jeanette Winterson

I only recently discovered GoodReads (I know, it's like I've been living under a rock!), and I've been reading lots of their lists.  It occurred to me that perhaps as a good lesbian I should try reading more gay fiction.  I've read some, of course (including Stone Butch Blues, which I shared a little bit about in my last Top Ten Post)  But really,  if I don't want to have to give back my toaster oven I should have a passing knowledge of important works in the GLBT genre.

With that in mind I ordered Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson.  It is really a roman a clef of the author's early years in Northern England.  The main character, Jeanette, is the adopted daughter of a fundamentalist Christian couple. Her mother adopted her in order to raise her up to give to the Lord as a missionary for His cause.  From early days, however, Jeanette shows that she is her own person and will not be forced into someone else's ideas about what she should be.  As she grows up, she becomes  more and more rebellious-and she falls in love.  With a GIRL!  Let's just say that her relationship with her mother really starts to go downhill after the failed exorcism...that's right, they tried to exorcise the gay right out of her!

Winterson has a dry, witty sense of humor that makes what could be a tragic story of betrayal and loss into something altogether more powerful.  At not one point in the story did Jeanette doubt that God meant her to be the way she was.  The people in her church loved her, thought she had a calling to preaching and missionary work-until they found out she was gay.  Suddenly, the leadership decided that maybe women were getting above their true place in the church, and should no longer be allowed to preach.  Apparently Jeanette's love for Katy convinced them that she was trying to be a man.  But not once did Jeanette waver in her belief that what she was and how she felt was as natural as loving the Lord, which she did with fervor.  Usually reading about religious fundamentalists makes me a little twitchy, but Winterson handled them in such a way that while I completely disagree with almost everything about the way they view life and God, I couldn't help but accept and respect their humanity.  Jeanette says, at one point in the book, that she loved the Lord-it was some of his followers that she had problems with. She eventually finds her way out of the insular world she was raised in, first through her prodigious imagination, and finally by physically moving to the big city.  But she can't completely leave behind her mother and her religious fervor.  The book concludes with Jeanette going home for Christmas to find her mother perched by the ham radio, networking with other born-again Christians for prayer, support, and most of all the conversion of the rest of us Godless souls.  Despite the new life Jeanette has found for herself, it is almost like she is comforted somehow by the idea that while she is off in the world, her mother stays behind, fighting other people's demons one prayer request at a time.  I guess this is probably true of all of us.  No matter how much we may try to separate ourselves from where we come from, the fact remains that we carry those people and experiences around with us into every new town, new job, or new relationship that we have.

WWW Wednesday

Hosted by Should Be Reading, this meme asks you to do something very easy...just answer these three questions:

What am I reading now?  I just started Oranges are Not the Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson.  I have heard about this book from many of my friends, and it is on a list of the best in lesbian fiction on GoodReads.  Seems like it is something that I should know.  I also just found out about another book from her-thank you fellow book bloggers!  My to-read list just keeps growing and growing.

What is something I read recently?  I just finished Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel.  You can find my review here.

What do I think I might read next?  I am going to read The Lacuna, by Barbara Kingsolver, I think.  I always say I am going to read one thing, and then something else comes up and I end up picking something else, but it's on my list.  Prodigal Summer, one of her other books, is on my list of books everyone should read, so I have high hopes for this one.